Friender – Bender


A few weeks before the US2020Election someone I have known for almost 20 years decided to share their views on the American election via a text.

My first thought was “ Oh Crap! this is exactly why I left FaceBook in the first place, but somehow trouble always knows where to find you”

I playfully bantered a bit but it wasn’t long before I realised her intent was clear- she wanted to drum up unnecessary political drama by sharing republican propaganda, questioning Biden’s mental capability, and accusing Kamala Harris of authorising underage sex in the form of the SB145 California bill. Completely uninformed, denying & refusing to acknowledge any of the factual rebuttals I provided.

This friend is well travelled and enjoys being in a very high income bracket, and lives in a country that is still very much 3rd world when it comes to infrastructure, education, medicine and of course government and social issues. I imagine it is one of the reasons they made certain each of their children were born on American soil so they can be American citizens.,so essentially they had anchor babies. Now we all know & understand where Trump stands on immigration, chain immigration & yes! anchor babies.. So as one can imagine I was surprised at the Trump fan club & determination to spread his hogwash.

After pointing out that the information being spread was not only untrue, out of context, & baseless, I directed to the factual side of the information I was being forwarded which of course was not received well. I also questioned the trigger for needing to spew unwanted, unsolicited and spiteful drama based on misguided information & questioned the invested interest in an election they were not eligible to vote in, and this is where things took a turn for the worse- I was accused of insulting, being incapable of discussing politics, & of shoving that said politics down their throat. It was almost amusing that the person who started the nonsense in the first place was accusing me of imposing my views on them.

At that point I made it clear that I was not interested in engaging any further. The conversation was not fun anymore and was now becoming a bit volatile. I was not in the mood to talk politics especially if it was going to result in me losing my cool. I felt the constant needling was an aim to give this person the satisfaction of an unbecoming reaction.

Mental & emotional health is of importance to me. Not just my own but that of others. Trump Politics was causing a dear friend to put their need to “win” & be right over my feelings, my emotional health and our friendship. But was Trump Politics truly responsible here or was it a revelation into who this person truly was? 

At that moment I decided to take a step back from the friendship … and to take a deep long breath. I felt like a small child. I could not help but question the validity that friends were supposed to care about us & help us. Not hurt us.

I expect there are other folks in similar circumstances contemplating and re-evaluating family ties & friendships caused by frustrating, eyeopening and difficult conversations about the 2020 election.

I can’t say what the future holds for my friendship, but what I do know for now is that this friendship is on hold. Just as the 2020 election was not only about a difference of opinion, but about human decency and humanity, so was the texting argument between my friend and I.,In the end the only thing that matters is this:

We can all have control over our Mental and Emotional health. Part of being mentally and emotionally strong is not giving away your power because while we cannot control other’s behaviour, we can control our attitude. Mindset is Everything!


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